Here are few funniest quotes, i really like. hope you like it too.
• A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.
• Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one. WC Fields
• Everything is funny, as long as it happens to somebody else!!.Will Rogers
• Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
• The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them. Mark Twain
• If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
• The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin
• “There’s nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends that are going to hell.” Steven Colbert
• Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. Jerry Seinfeld
• “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” Mark Twain
• “God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.”. Robin Williams
• Here's all you have to know about men and women:women are crazy, men are stupid, and the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. george carlin
- We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. Phyllis Diller
One of the lessons of history is that Nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say. Will Durant
- Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed. Albert Einstein
- When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.unknown.
- Why is it that as soon as politicians get elected they believe our money belongs to them?
- Good sex is like good Bridge: if you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Mae West
- "When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing. Steven Wright.
- “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush’, ‘Dick’, and ‘Colon.’ Need I say more?”
If you any funny quote, please, share it.